I met Irma and Isabel in my favorite bead store, where they were buying the makings for necklaces and bracelets.
The two were having so much fun choosing just the right colors and shapes that I was compelled to stop and chat with them.
Was Isabel the dutiful daughter or just a great friend, I asked. I flashed on my own mom. I wish I had started making my earrings while she was still with me. She was an artist, and we would have had a ball designing jewelry together.
It turns out the two women aren't related at all. Isabel Carrillo, a professional caregiver, looks out for 82-year-old Irma Gusfield and her husband, Joe.
Irma, a La Jollan who usually uses a walker, was in a wheelchair when we met, because it's easier to navigate the sprawling store that way. Isabel was pushing. The two had their heads together debating the merits of each strand of glass and natural beads.
Isabel taught Irma, a former social worker at Children's Hospital, how to make the jewelry. Now, the two decide the styles together.
“She's the brains; I pay the money,” Irma says. “I make whatever she tells me; I'm very uncreative.”
Paradoxically, the older woman's eyes are the best of the pair, so she does the stringing. Her caregiver does the finish work.
Most of the jewelry goes to Irma's three granddaughters. “I think they like them.” She keeps the rest for herself. Isabel says she seldom lets Irma leave the house without adorning her neck.
The caregiver has been working for the couple about a year. Joe, a retired professor of sociology at UCSD, no longer drives, and Irma is happy to relinquish the wheel.
The Gusfields are wonderful people, Isabel says. They've been married 61 years.
“We're friends,” she says. “We met seven years ago when they visited a friend I was working for.”
The couple is especially lucky because their long-term care insurance pays a big percentage of the care.
Isabel, who's worked in the care profession for 15 years, says she certainly isn't in it for the money. “There are things in life money can't buy.” Looking out for older people makes her happy.
I flash on Dolly, the cloned sheep. Wouldn't it be nice if we could clone the likes of Isabel. . . .
SNIP-IT: Worried about the cost of your parents' long-term care or your own? How about your dog's? According to AARP, Japan recently opened the world's first canine nursing home in Tochigi. A month's stay in the Soladi Care Home for Pets is a whopping $800 a month, including 24-hour veterinary care.
Losing a loved one is never easy. To help you deal with the loss, an online bereavement support group is on SanDiegoElderCare.com. To sign up for Coping with Loss, click on Online Support at top of home page.
Marsha Kay Seff edits the San Diego ElderCare Directory. The 2008 books are available now at libraries, senior centers, Union-Tribune offices and Longs Pharmacies. You can also check online at SanDiegoElderCare.com. Contact Seff at marsha.seff@uniontrib.com.
