OCEANSIDE
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The 14-year-old girl was surprised by the message a former resident gave during a visit to Casa de Amparo, a home for neglected and abused children in Oceanside.
“It was different,” the teen said as she sat with friends, eating cake Thursday evening. “It was not what I was expecting. I thought we would get preached to, told to go to school, to make a living.”
The talk delivered by a well-dressed woman who clearly had overcome a life “in the system” of child protective services was, instead, “more like what it's like to be here,” the teen said.
Kristeen Forshaw, 33, of San Diego spoke to the teens while attending the first reunion of former residents at Casa de Amparo, a private nonprofit agency on the grounds of the Mission San Luis Rey parish.
Twenty children ages 6 to 17 currently live at the home. The agency also operates a “casita” for children age 5 and younger. According to the agency's contract with San Diego County, the youngsters cannot be identified publicly.
“One of the things I want to avoid saying to you is 'stay in school' or something trite,” Forshaw told the teenagers.
“Invest in yourself” was her message.
If that investment includes education, that's good, but more important, she said, “you do not have an outer parent, so you have to develop an inner parent.”
Forshaw told the teens that with no one looking out for them, they have to do that for themselves. “I hope that you take this seriously,” she said. “No one told me. I had to learn it on my own.”
Forshaw, who works as a bouncer at a San Diego nightclub, spent six months at the home in 1990-91. She was so impressed by the caring she found there – including being treated to a Sweet 16 birthday party – that she helps with its outreach, Forshaw said.
Besides hosting an alumni party Thursday, which unfortunately fell short of participants, Casa de Amparo celebrated its 30th birthday.
The home has served between 109 and 197 children each of those 30 years.
Scrapbooks and exhibit posters at the celebration told the story of the home. Oceanside police had asked for a location to take children in North County so they didn't have the long drive to a receiving home in San Diego.
Two Oceanside women, Colleen and Sue Richardson, founded the nonprofit organization.
Children may stay at Casa as briefly as a week or as long as a year, said executive director Sharon Delphenich, with most leaving after about four months.
“We don't keep track of the children after they leave here,” Delphenich said, so there wasn't any formal way to try to find alumni.
Forshaw was the only former resident to show up, but the presence of the current residents and staff, musicians John Morgan and Jeff Stemmerman, and other supporters made the event festive.
Forshaw said she tried to find other alums, but she knew most of the other children at the home by their first names only – with one exception.
That exception, Laurel Robbins of Temecula, has been Forshaw's best friend for the 17 years since they shared a life at Casa de Amparo.
Despite the fact they live more than an hour's drive apart, Forshaw said she and Robbins rarely fail to meet twice a month.
Robbins, in a brief phone interview, said she would have liked to attend the reunion but was unable to take time off from work.
Both women are hoping that the word will get out so that more former residents will show up for next year's reunion.
Lola Sherman: (760) 476-8241; lola.sherman@uniontrib.com
