CARLSBAD
How do you tell a young child that he has been orphaned and never will see his parents again?
Relatives of a Carlsbad couple who died in a car accident last week faced that awful task three times over yesterday.
“They've asked for Mommy and Daddy,” said Shirley Rehder, the children's great-aunt. “The little one wanted his daddy to tuck him in last night.”
The children – sons Ian, 5, and Luke, 1, and daughter Loren, 2 – survived a single-vehicle crash in Utah that killed their parents, Tod McFarland, 40, and Stephanie McFarland, 38, on Thursday morning.
Ian, who suffered head injuries, was in stable condition yesterday at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City.
Loren and Luke were released by the hospital to relatives. Family members who had traveled to the hospital included the children's paternal grandmother from Sacramento, their maternal grandparents and several of their mother's sisters.
The family members had not yet decided who will take over the care of the children, said Rehder, of Santa Maria.
“They have very loving people on both sides (of the family),” she said. “My desire is to make sure that they all stay together, and I think that's what will happen.”
Stephanie McFarland was driving the family's 2000 Ford Expedition when it veered off Interstate 70 near Sigurd, Utah, flipped over and then fell off a bridge.
Utah Highway Patrol troopers said all of the children were belted in their seats when the accident occurred, but the parents didn't appear to be.
“That would seem very unusual,” Rehder said. “I don't believe they didn't have their seat belts on. I think they might have ripped them out” during the accident.
The McFarlands left their home in Carlsbad's La Costa neighborhood Wednesday night for Boulder, Colo., where they had planned to attend the weekend wedding of Stephanie McFarland's cousin. The couple apparently drove through the night before reaching Sigurd, which is 150 miles south of Salt Lake City.
“They had been planning (the trip) for some time,” said Rehder, who last saw the family when they traveled to Santa Maria in February to celebrate her 50th wedding anniversary.
Tod McFarland grew up in Sacramento, and his wife was a native of Houston. The two moved to San Diego to attend Point Loma Nazarene University, where they met as students.
“They were sweethearts all through college,” Rehder said.
After finishing school, Stephanie McFarland worked for a while in banking but in more recent years became a stay-at-home mom.
Tod McFarland earned a master's degree in physical therapy, and later went to work for Scripps Health. For the past several years he had worked as a lead physical therapist at Scripps Green Hospital in La Jolla, where he supervised 16 people.
“He was a hard worker with a very easygoing personality and a lot of patience,” said Alan Ferrarelli, manager of rehabilitation services at Scripps Green.
“It's just a terrible loss,” Ferrarelli said as he fought to hold back tears. “We have a very close department. Everyone has been greatly affected. I haven't really thought a lot about the leadership. He's going to be hard to replace.”
Family and friends said Tod McFarland was an avid surfer, fly fisherman and rock climber who kept photos of himself on top of Mount Whitney on his desk at the hospital beside piles of surfing magazines.
He sometimes stopped to surf during his morning commute to work, and he had recently started teaching his oldest son how to ride waves.
The couple also were avid cooks and often prepared elaborate meals together when they visited Rehder.
“They were the most beautiful people,” Rehder said. “I told Tod and Stephanie that if ever there was a family that needed to be modeled, it was theirs.”
Keith Darce: (619) 293-1020; keith.darce@uniontrib.com
